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21-Day Blogging Marathon | Day 16: A lesson that you’ve learnt the hard way

In one of my blog posts a few days ago, I had written about three things that I would want my kids to learn from me. I am going to talk about one of those lessons today, since it aligns with today’s topic.

Before I go ahead with the lesson, I would like to share something about Buddhism. I have picked up a couple of books on Buddhism lately, and while this might sound cliché, these books have truly been enlightening. The concept of Buddhism revolves around Four Noble Truths, and for those who are not familiar, I would like to share them here.
  • Suffering is everywhere
  • The cause of suffering is craving
  • In order to overcome suffering, we must overcome craving
  • The way to overcome craving is to follow The Middle Way

These noble truths make much sense to me, and the first truth, that is, suffering is everywhere, is a lesson that I have learnt the hard way. I think many people can relate. Since most of us go through a rather happy and innocent childhood, it isn’t until you’re in your twenties, or thirties, that you learn this lesson. When Gautama Buddha gave up his lavish lifestyle, and left his mansion to look for something more, he was hard hit by this reality.

As for me, I had to leave my old lifestyle behind, in order to come to terms with this. This time last year, I was someone who believed that life is unfair, simply because I was not receiving everything that I wanted. There were a few months when I would live in a victim mentality, and blame my surroundings for anything that would not go right, or as per my terms in my life. As a result of this “craving”, I was suffering.

“Why does everything happen to me?” “Why am I working so hard and earning less than others?” “Why is it so difficult for me to lose weight?” These questions would often circle in my mind. These are questions based on feeling that you deserve more than what you are receiving. These are questions arising out of craving, and leading to suffering. It wasn’t until I read about it that I realized that it is indeed, a noble truth.

Suffering manifests itself in different ways. I did not like my job, so I quit. Disliking my job was suffering, which arose out of craving (or wanting a better job), and feeling that I deserve something better than an unpleasant job. Someone who is less privileged than me might have a different version of this suffering.

I believe that I have a long way to go before I can understand this truth in its entirety. I say this because I still tend to get disheartened whenever I face something unpleasant. Buddhism talks about certain approaches through which one might be able to overcome suffering. Gratitude and mindfulness being the biggest ones. I feel like I am still in the process of learning these, and the lessons I have learnt so far are only the first few pages of this chapter. That’s okay, since life is a journey, and self-discovery is an on-going process.

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